Dont Let the Old Man In

How old would you be if you didn't know the day you were born?

The Mule is a film produced and directed by Clint Eastwood. Eastwood is now 93 and plays the lead role as a grumpy old man who goes out kicking. It leaves you wondering whether the film doesn’t reflect a lot of Eastwood's own reality, and that of a lot of the Twilight generation, as it provides a window on “limited lifespan” living which in this case includes "not giving a damn about just about everything", to the point of his “casual acceptance of corruption”.

The soundtrack to the film is a Country and Western song by Toby Keith who, the story goes, met Eastwood on the film set and asked him how he kept up the pace. “Don’t let the old man in” was the reply and that’s the name of the title track. It has the thought-provoking line “Ask yourself how old you’d be if you didn’t know the day you were born”. You can listen to that on the video at the bottom of the article.

When it comes to the stock market and the twilight years, I am reminded of a talk I gave over a decade ago at the RACV Club. It was in the middle of the day so the only people there were the ones with no jobs, most of whom had given life to a baby boomer, and naturally enough, after my hilarious dissertation on the benefits of long term investment one senior member quickly stood up and took the floor and said:

“What is it about you stockbrokers that you all seem to think that old people are long term investors.” 

Great question. We do, don’t we. Ridiculous. 

He continued. “In fact this very morning my stockbroker rang me and started talking to me about Telstra’s five year plan and the benefits of reinvesting dividends and achieving long term compound returns. But I am 75” he said, “and according to my insurance company’s actuaries that means I have just 3.8 years to live.” The room murmured. “Mate, I have absolutely no interest in Telstra’s five year plan because, quite simply, I’ll be dead.” 

Applause. 

He went on: “I don’t want long term returns, I want to be ripping up Route 66 on a Triumph Rocket or schmoozing babes in the Roman Room at the Ritz. Not listening to Telstra’s five year plan. So don’t give me your long term compound growth bullshit. Give me sex. And give it to me now!”. And like a blue rinsed thundercloud, the midday audience rose as one to applaud him. 

“So what are you doing here” I countered “Why aren’t you in the Roman Room at the Ritz?”. 

He replied, “Well, there’s something else you need to learn, young man. There comes a time in your life when things move not in months and years but in bodily organs, and when the only organ in your body that still pumps blood is your brain, the stock market is as close to sex as you can get. So here I am, seizing the day, mate. You’ll find out, eventually.”  

It is a great endorsement of the stock market that someone with 3.8 years to live wants to spend those years playing this game. But why wait for retirement? The biggest attraction of the stock market is that anyone can play it and that the prerequisites for success are not laid down in stone, in education, in Birthright, but can be created from scratch by anyone from any background and almost any skill set. It is a state of mind that makes the difference. There is no longer anything elite about it. The stock market is a game anyone can play. Making money and losing money. Being in combat. Pitting yourself against the collective intellect of all the other traders and investors. Measuring yourself. Being stimulated. Doing something different every day. Beats work.  

That’s why any of us do anything well or with passion, because we enjoy it and that’s why the people with only a few years left to live choose the stock market, because the activity of trying to succeed makes them happy. 

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

I met a photographer the other day. He had retired rich as a partner in a major accounting firm. With the cosmos at his feet he had finally taken the time to work out what he really wanted to do. It turned out to be photography. The shame of it was that it had taken him 65 years before he had stopped for long enough to work out what it was that he really wanted to do. The stupid thing was, it was only then that he realised that it was something he could have been doing all his life. 

If I had all the money and time in the world, I’ve worked out that I’d like to spend more time with my wife and my kids, walking my kids to school, playing with them (sorry, Archie), helping them with their homework and above all showing them the world, travelling. I have also realised that, unlike photography, I can’t wait until I retire. My window on receptive children is narrowing every day.   

We all have to stop and ask, “If I had all the time and money in the world, what would I be doing?”

Chances are, you could or should be doing it already.

An AIA (Australian Investment Association) Member, Robert C Gould, wrote a book a couple of years ago called “Don’t Let the Old Man/Girl in”. It might interest some of you.

The cover says that “He/She never knocks. He/She rings no bell. He/She slides in unseen. And then….that old Man/Woman…is YOU!”. It is aimed at people over 60 and delivers Fifteen Commandments. Here they are:

1. Accept a social invitation always – you will never experience amazing outcomes, exciting new plans, fresh faces and surprises if you don’t.
2. Be athletic for one hour each day – move in any way you can for one hour a day without compromise. The benefits are, quite simply, priceless.
3. Adopt role models – study/adopt the traits of the admirable, people who have taken the risk and got a result – it reduces risk, saves time and the result is known.
4. Be a gentle man/woman – the magic of gentleness over anger, bitterness and grumpiness.
5. Dress half your age – slumped physiques shrouded in dull, colourless, shapeless garments, say old. When you look old, others see you as old and treat you as old. So you are old.
6. Watch over your family – as you get older, you are promoted to non-executive director of your family’s board of directors. You are a readily available source of wisdom.
7. Mow your own lawn – relying on others to do simple tasks means losing self-reliance. Develop self-reliance.
8. Do a good turn every day – it nourishes your soul.
9. Foster a sense of the ridiculous – die smiling. Having a sense of fun, seeing the funny side, being of good humour, ready smiles, bright eyes and a lightness of being, attract family and friends.
10. Drop the drink – as you age, your body will not cope with maintained alcoholic intake, so reduce your consumption.
11. Lose weight, just shrink – there are no fat old men. How do you handicap a racing thoroughbred? Place weights on them to slow them down.
12. (S)train your brain – or lose your mind. Brains are like brawn. Lifts mental weights.
13. Live within your means – money is not important, but it is up there with oxygen. Develop financial toughness, be financially honest, and deal with your own financial facts.
14. Unload stuff, and let it go – you are no longer in the accumulation phase. The competition for the best cars, houses, boats…is over. Hold, make do, or replace. Being a material man wearies you, it is behind you. Unload and de-clutter. Throwing away stuff makes you feel free.
15. Aspire to a simple life – disengage from activities that create hassle and anguish. Do not compound your own life’s complexities with those of others.

My Dad is 85. He is in a nursing home on the Isle of Wight. He is older than he needs to be. I wish he had taken some note of this list – exercising in particular. I am playing golf with people older than him – one in particular who continues to beat his age off the stick. Maybe there is something in this for you, too, before it's too late.

Enjoy this video while you read it again. The song is "Don't let the old man in" by Toby Keith.